"Fear of rejection is a sign of neediness - specifically, the need to be liked." - Jim Camp
Today I want to discuss not caring. Not NOT caring about the things that matter, such as dear friends, close family, your mental and emotional well-being, and taking care of your body and physical health. And I'm certainly not insinuating that I'm running around proclaiming that I have it all figured out and I don't listen to people's opinions because I know me and I know who I am and besides, people who claim repeatedly how little they care about the outside world are, well, LYING because if they have to make such announcements constantly to the world then they really DO care what people think and, and- well, you get the idea. The IDEA itself is meretricious because it is fabulous- the ability to let go of outside concerns and criticisms is freeing. The execution of said awesomeness is, well, not so effortless...
(Tangent: Is it odd that when I'm blogging and re-reading it back to myself, my head-voice has a British accent? Maybe my brain thinks I'm fancy...)
So what does it mean, then, to not "care"? Buddhism would describe this as "detachment," or "non-attachment." Many think this to mean being aloof, cold, or haughty, but in truth, it's what may set your soul free: defined as a release from desire and consequently from suffering, it means to understand that everything has impermanence. In five years, are the tiny disappointments of today really going to matter in the grand adventure that is "YOUR LIFE"? Everything and everyone ends: relationships, jobs, living situations- our lives are in constant states of change. You will end. I will end. In 50 years most of the people I care for will be long gone, perhaps myself included...(Nah, no way. I'll be out on that porch, drinking my whisky and holding my shotgun, ten cats hanging out of my hair and yelling at kids to get off my lawn...I'm outliving everyone, bitchcakes, WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!) What doesn't end is your strength, smile, perseverance, love, your heart, ambition, drive, mind, self-education, self-improvement, self-love, and humor. So care about the big things, and the little moments of bliss. Just don't get stuck thinking the negative stuff will follow you around like a little black rain cloud. What matters is how and why and how you're going to live today like it's your birthday, all day, every day.
So consider this the next time you feel angry, displeased or slighted...and you might actually turn up with a smile.
But as ever, I'll leave you with this charming epithet that explains how I really feel, spoken in the ever-eloquent words of my inner smart-ass:
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