Short blurb on a Thursday night just to say...
Please read this book. 'Drinking: A Love Story' by Caroline Knapp remains one of my most favorite, poignant, and important books about alcohol addiction.
Grab a copy if you can.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Duality
I'm all too aware that I talk about myself a lot. Most of what I write seems extremely indulgent and feels self serving at times, because all I do is tell stories about, well, me. I believe human nature is essentially pretty egocentric - left alone for too long to one's devices, the mind will tend to spiral lower into oneself and pretty soon you're examining and reexamining every move and thought and speech you've ever done and thought and said. If you're one of the millions who suffer from a mental health disorder, the self shame spiral magnifies times a thousand, and your mind can only deal with the reality of yourself. It means, sometimes, I am not good company, and no, I am not thinking about others. But you know what? I'm telling you: that's OK.
I talk about my experience because I genuinely hope it will help people who aren't comfortable enough talking about how they struggle on a daily basis. I've lived with depression and have been in therapy for over 20 years (USE ME, PEOPLE. I LIKE IT*). So, every time I sit in front of the computer and think about what I want to tell everyone, I do hope someone finds solace in the fact that I've pretty much seen and done it all when it comes to low points in life...and I'm here for you.
I see my magnificent unicorn therapist about once a month now, and I happened to visit her the other day. I feel like myself, and many others I've spoken to lately, are in a bit of a life slump. Speaking for myself, it's because I get lazy. It's easier to succumb to the voices telling me it's too hard to succeed, I'm no good at writing and it's not the thing I WAS ABSOLUTELY, UNABASHEDLY BORN TO DO I MEAN, LOOK AT THESE WORDS THEY'RE SPECTACULAR OK back on track now. So, sitting in her office the other day, hunched and feeling beaten, she suddenly said:
"Ariane, it's frustrating sometimes to have you as a patient."
Cue panicked look on my face. (She's great with the metaphors/analogies, so I'll continue).
"Imagine I'm a teacher. I have A students, C students, and D students. If my C student gets a C grade, I know they're doing OK...I'm not going to suggest they apply to Harvard Law anytime soon, but they're doing alright. One of my D students hands in a C paper, I'm ecstatic. They are doing GREAT." She narrows her eyes at me. "But you are an A student and you're doing C work. Your potential is LIMITLESS. There is absolutely nothing stopping you...except yourself."
And the same goes for you.
So the question I ask myself, and everyone else who takes the time to read this (BLESS YOU) is...are you going to succumb to merely "existing?" Or...will you fly?
Most of the people I know are pretty extraordinary. It's beautiful when you get to see the shadows and light of someone's personality, and all the things they're capable of. I have friends who are magnificent artists, hilarious makers of craft goodies, and beautiful writers. You're foodies, humorists, and generally very silly people. You're educated, intelligent, flawed, and dark. You have your good days and bad, and that's completely OK. You feel sad, depressed, anxious, happy, elated, intense, and strong, and all of those are OK too. You are everything, all at once. The quote the title of a book by the Dalai Lama, you are the universe in a single atom.
Embrace it, and know that you're worth every moment you have on this planet.
I talk about my experience because I genuinely hope it will help people who aren't comfortable enough talking about how they struggle on a daily basis. I've lived with depression and have been in therapy for over 20 years (USE ME, PEOPLE. I LIKE IT*). So, every time I sit in front of the computer and think about what I want to tell everyone, I do hope someone finds solace in the fact that I've pretty much seen and done it all when it comes to low points in life...and I'm here for you.
I see my magnificent unicorn therapist about once a month now, and I happened to visit her the other day. I feel like myself, and many others I've spoken to lately, are in a bit of a life slump. Speaking for myself, it's because I get lazy. It's easier to succumb to the voices telling me it's too hard to succeed, I'm no good at writing and it's not the thing I WAS ABSOLUTELY, UNABASHEDLY BORN TO DO I MEAN, LOOK AT THESE WORDS THEY'RE SPECTACULAR OK back on track now. So, sitting in her office the other day, hunched and feeling beaten, she suddenly said:
"Ariane, it's frustrating sometimes to have you as a patient."
Cue panicked look on my face. (She's great with the metaphors/analogies, so I'll continue).
"Imagine I'm a teacher. I have A students, C students, and D students. If my C student gets a C grade, I know they're doing OK...I'm not going to suggest they apply to Harvard Law anytime soon, but they're doing alright. One of my D students hands in a C paper, I'm ecstatic. They are doing GREAT." She narrows her eyes at me. "But you are an A student and you're doing C work. Your potential is LIMITLESS. There is absolutely nothing stopping you...except yourself."
And the same goes for you.
So the question I ask myself, and everyone else who takes the time to read this (BLESS YOU) is...are you going to succumb to merely "existing?" Or...will you fly?
Embrace it, and know that you're worth every moment you have on this planet.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
~ Desiderata
*wait, what?
Monday, May 4, 2015
May is Mental Health Awareness Month!
At any given point in time, this is what it feels like to live with mental illness and/or addiction.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. When people share their stories this month, all I ask is to please pay attention. There is still an extraordinary stigma surrounding the multitude of mental diseases people struggle with on a daily basis. Considering 1 in 4 people have some form of mental illness, chances are you are directly affected by it (duh) either by yourself or a loved one having it. The statistics are still shocking when you think 8.6 million adults think about suicide daily, suicide is still in the top ten list of leading causes of death, and people of color STILL have less access to care.
Let's talk, people.
Here are some handy links to click on for your IIFS: Itchy Internet Finger Syndrome (not in fact a mental illness, but a highly useful useless way to pass the time) -
*Image found on Pinterest as 'uncredited'
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