Thinky Thoughts and Stuff

WARNING: This is a Buddhist post. Slip into Zen mode, breathe deeply and enjoy reading.*

*I don't know why I feel Buddhism needs a warning. If anything, that's the exact opposite of Buddhist teachings. It's like saying ALARM ALARM ALARM, YOU'RE GOING TO DO A VERY PEACEFUL YOGA STRETCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *screams for days*.**

**I'm a terrible example of what a Buddhist looks like. Shut up.

I'm blogging to bossily tell you what to do with your thoughts and how to live your life because I have control issues but I pretend it's actually advice, only today I'm sharing an epiphany I had because IT REALLY IS ADVICE TO HELP GIVE YOU PEACE SO JUST LISTEN AND DO WHAT I SAY OKAY.

Peaceful thoughts are tricky. No one thinks them all the time. I'm certainly no expert on mindfulness. I've struggled my whole life against depression and anxiety, in addition to growing up surrounded by relatives who are very, well, angry. Massively improving one's life by (mostly) conquering years of negativity and bad tempers beaten into you is no small feat. (Not ACTUALLY beaten, to clarify. My parents weren't THAT awful, just incredibly immature. I digress.) With the stress and hurried way we rush through our lives, it's easy to rise to judgmental, negative, even very dark thoughts. It becomes faaaaaaaaaar too easy to feed the monster within. 

I'm telling you right now...let that shit go.

Being very active on social media exposes you to a lot of negative, crass, angry people. Hell, being ALIVE exposes you to them. If you have an opinion on something, 100 other people will disagree, name call, or send you dick pics. (Unless you have a very pretty one with glitter on it, or if you're Michael Fassbender, WE'RE NOT INTERESTED, GENTLEMEN..... Mmmmmmmmmm... Fassssssbenderrrrr.....*drools*.) Being a part of the online community has its perks, such as meeting very incredible people and maybe even taking trips you would have never thought possible, sharing similar interests while enriching your life. But the unfortunate side effect and truth about humanity is, there are just an awful lot of angry people out there.

Imagine how differently this world would be and people would feel if they are simply left to their own feelings without judgment.

There's room for sarcasm. I realize I'm incredibly snarky to the point where people actually are convinced I'm evil, but those who truly know me (or you) probably realize you're a very lovely person. But I'm speaking of the ugliness that gets exposed when people disagree and begin to take things personally, and sooner rather than later, things can escalate to personal attacks. No one is immune, and no one responds perfectly all the time, myself included. What I'm referring to is the hypocrisy of those who say "I DON'T DO ANYTHING MEAN BUT THIS OTHER PERSON IS AWFUL AND STUPID" and it basically becomes a huge mud fight. ("Mud fight?" You know when you made a mud ball as a kid and threw it at your friends? Is that what it's called? I'm the only one who did this? I don't throw things ANYMORE, unless you count gently lobbed articles of clothing at my cats when they're being annoying. Hey, where are you guys going?)

It's difficult to swallow people not liking you or your opinions. I was never popular in social settings as a kid and that sticks with me even today. I was a quiet bookworm who bit her nails and wore terrible hand-me-down clothing and was teased CONSTANTLY. (Thanks for contributing to my drinking problem, middle school but FUCK YOU because I outran all the boys thanks to my long legs and love of running fast. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.) So after 36 29 years on this planet, I've finally reached a place where I don't CRAVE acceptance from all people, am able to finally let things slide and take the time to genuinely listen to what I need and make decisions based on those facts and feelings. (I realize this post is all over the place but I was woken up at 5 am by aforementioned cats who I'm convinced are closet speed freaks. There's no good reason a feline version of NASCAR needs to happen that early in the morning. It's cruel.)

AND NOW FOR THE POINT OF THIS POST.

Let. That. Shit. Go.

People who are negative? Don't need them in your life. People who egg you on, hoping to get a rise out of you? You don't even ever "need" to respond to anyone who doesn't like who you are, because nothing pisses people off more than being ignored. That's fine. Let them stew, it's not your problem if they attack you and are left with no result. 

The resentment monster is hungry. Feed it a burrito, if you have to, just don't feed it by spending your time focusing on anyone's life except your own. Trust me, you need improvement. We're all just floating around among the stars for a brief period of time until we're gone again. Think of how much better you'll feel without that weight on your shoulders.

*this is quite possibly the worst, most scattered, verbally incompetent post i've ever written, but I don't get paid for this shit so you'll get your money's worth on this. Or my money's worth. I'm so very tired.)